Age Against the Machine!
(MGM Advantage)
Band Members:
David Nuttall was Born out of the marriage of Mother Theresa and George Peppard, becoming one of the worlds youngest inventors when, at the age of 5, he invented the musical door bell. After obtaining a masters degree in rocket science aged 14, he then went on to invent the strapless bikini top. After joining the SAS at age 16, Dave single-handedly took Goose Green from the armed forces of Argentina and was widely believed to have won the war on his own. After receiving the George Cross for gallantry Paul went on to score a hat trick for Crystal Palace in the 1979 FA cup final. In the same year he took 18 wickets and scored 320 runs in the final test against Australia. After turning down the chance to head the UN he married Elle Macpherson and had 14 children. He learnt to play Bass with the YTS and taught Metallica everything they know.
Paul Dilley is one of the worlds great humanitarians and God Father to Bill Gates. He has adopted 10 African orphans, replanted 50 acres of trees in the Amazon rainforest and spent a year cleaning oil from baby seals. Growing bored of his humanitarian work he took up drumming and within a year went on a highly successful tour with Gun and Roses. After leaving Guns and Roses he taught himself piano and played at Charles and Diana’s wedding at St Pauls Cathedral and was able to step in to complete the marriage service when the Arch Bishop of Canterbury fell ill. Paul won the “world’s most handsome man” title three years in a row and is the current holder of the “man bikini models would most like to sleep with” certificate. Paul has won Mastermind four times, regularly appears on “Have I got news for you” and is one of the “Eggheads” from the BBC2 quiz program. Paul currently fly’s a fighter plane for the RAF, is a special adviser to the Pope and in his spare time works as a computer programmer at MGM Advantage.”
Having recently evolved from a marginally lower life-form Dave Grant found himself enslaved to a race of hyper intelligent cuttlefish and only managed a fortunate escape when he was washed ashore by a smallish tsunami. The following wilderness years were spent flitting from job to job earning a pittance in such varied roles as “Mobile Bus Stop”, “Spare Part”, “Totem Pole” (for a tribe of Umpa-Lumpas) and “Miseryguts” he enjoyed a brief but completely unsuccessful sporting career as part of the Moldovan male synchronised swimming squad and had to retire after a well publicised and horrific wardrobe malfunction with his team Man-kini. His key board skills have improved over the years and he now plays the organ on a regular basis.
It was shortly after serving a 5 year sentence in a correctional institution in Moldova for the joint charges of Treason and Indecent Exposure that Pete Appleby learned how to play a home made blues guitar fashioned out of hardened prison gruel, wood and old prison bars for strings. Although now a proficient and able guitarist, it is thought that the use of the iron bars for strings explains his current string breakage problem and the other unmentionable prison experiences explains his thousand yard stare and why he is not permitted to use a microphone during performances.
Pete has been taken under the wing of MGM Advantage as a Business Analyst as part of his reintegration with polite society rehabilitation court order and one day hopes to be allowed to use metal cutlery at lunchtimes.
Claire Barber is a nuclear physicist with a degree it animal husbandry and taxidermy. She won £84 million on the Euro Lottery last year so just works at MGM Advantage for fun. In her spare time she enjoys crochet and making antimacassars for the backs of old people’s sofas. Claire started singing at the age of 3 months in a travelling circus and has pursued it ever since. She is also an exhibitionist and can be found busking every Sunday at Bethnel Green tube station.
Lottie Mawson is a professional ballet dancer and the secret lovechild of Mikhail Baryshnikov. In her spare time she enjoys stamp collecting, dog grooming and making paper airplanes. Lottie has a restraining order for stalking Barry Manilow, which she strongly denies. However her favourite song is Mandy. She hopes to one day join NASA’s space programme and be the first woman to live on Mars with her pet Python, Lucy.